welcome to fuschiArt..

my journal......

Sunday, October 31, 2004

inspiring lyrics

i get this from deviantart.com, touching, deep..the author whoever they are..i respect this..i'm feelin' this..

live in you

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?
They say, "Life is too short,"
"The here and the now"
And "You're only given one shot"
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we've got?
If I die tomorrow
I'd be allright
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on
I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I'm not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend
I may never find all the answers I
may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try
"Move on, be brave
Don't weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let Your memory of me disappear"
Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again
Victoria's real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I'm here
It's perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means
That's the only place I'd like to live...
The only place I'd like to die...

and this song..makes me wanting for someone for my life..who could it be..i hope it's u, dear..

Somebody - Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She’ll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
I want somebody who cares

For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

hhhh...i'm fukkin in love..with u..nuy..

Friday, October 15, 2004

anything i could write on..

apa topiknya? ga ada.. kesel gw kemaren ttg tugas2 gw ga bs di post. ya udahlah..puasa bener2 bikin sabar emang yah.. alhamdulillah puasa pertama gw hari ini sukses,,walaupun buka puasanya sendirian ditemani sms pacar bwahahaha.. thank u dear, meant a lot. blom ketemu dia sejak hari apa tu..minggu? kangen juga yah! dan saya memasrahkan diri seperti kata maxwell..whenever wherever whatever..baby..heuheuheuheu NAJES MELLOW..but my mood said so, gimana dong. aduh..mendengarkan lagu ini sendiri dengan suaranya yg merdu..ampe merinding iiihhh....udah ah..ga meaning...i think i'll have a phone call aja deh..hehe...

Saturday, August 14, 2004

i'll tell u what's left

my goodness..it's been like, months??? well lots of thing happened [pastinya kalee] including love stories. u-huh. and career. hahahaha. karir aja dulu kali yah. gw sejak awal juli kemaren ampe sekitar awal sept nanti magang di mtv trax. sebagai? yah..bantu2 lah. stylist untuk trax free n ILM edition, backstage n citra's pagenya ILM, dan contribute dikiiitttt buat trax termasuk goody bags [ga jauh dari minjem barang]. so far seneng juga n banyak yg seperjuangan, total ada 5 yg lagi magang. ada koe buat grafis layout dll, jaya buat motret, gue, erik buat distribusi dan yg baru masuk si tian buat reporter. cape juga dan u know i hate wake up early. kyaknya gw anak magang yg paling males, nyampe kantor aja nyerempet2 lunch time. haha. yg penting kerjaan gw kelar deh.. pastinya yg gw rasain tuh nyari duit capeeee dan rasanya gaji brapapun ga akan nutup ya ga seeeehhhhh.. dan gw hrs nonton I Like Monday terus krn gw meliput backstage dan kostumnya. gpp kok, nambah pengalaman gw banget. dan liburan terasa berharga..uhuk2.

now love story..scroll done to the date, umm, june 22nd? remember when i rejected someone? yep. he's the one i'm fully in love now. hehe. i mean it. never tought it'll turn out to be like this. and when we started this relationship we've compromised it'll be an open one. we mean it. until the day..he wanted to have a serious one, secara implisit, he proposed. HUH??? yep. aduh, i'm not a commited person pula! imagine me being a wife n a mom? we'll he's old enough now, he's 25 and it's not a new stuff for him lah. If u asked my answer, i'll tell u : i'd love to. tapi yah bisa kan years later [if u serious] i'm still studying right now n wanted to continue..study. inti dari semua alasan gw : not ready. but somehow i want it to flow as it right now. blom tau juntrungannya mengingat gw yang masih mau 'kemana2'. hhmm. god, tell me what to do.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

GUE NAEK KELASSSSSSSS

bingung kan..pdhal gw udah kuliah..iya emang esmod sistemnya pake kelas gitu..ada 3 kelas..kayak sekolah lah..dan gw ini kelas 2 mo naek ke tingkat terakhir yaitu kelas 3. tadi gw ambil raport..(huhuh iya loh lembaran raport) deg2an semuanya mana banyak isu2 yg mengatakan sekitar 6 orang (dari 17 orang) ga naek. gimana gw gak bengek2 tuh...

trus kan klo klas 1 dulu kita nilainya ditempel di pintu ya kita bisa liat langsung nilai dan pass/failnya kita..kayak les gitu. TAPI TADI DIPANGGIL SATU2. DIHADAPKAN AMA 2 GURU SEKALIGUS PULA. yg pertama angel dan memakan waktu sekitar semenit. eh dia keluar treak2 girang loh. dia naek. eh kita treak2 girang juga deh! eh abis itu gw loh. nah gw dibilanginnya gini...

mas ari : fashion design (FD) kamu nilainya pas2an. ini saya udah katrol tetep aja ga mencapai nilai 12 (nilai minimal esmod). kamu tau kan gimanapun esmod punya standard. kita ga bisa bantu banyak. kamu juga suka absen kan? (ya ampun nyaris ga pernah absen loh gw. begonya gw manggut2 aja) jadi kamu tinggal kelas FDnya, kamu ulang lagi ya.

gw : beneran? saya ga bisa remidial? apa kek saya ulangin lagi?

mas ari : ya kan taun ini ga ada lagi perbaikan (iya yah gw lupa)

mas fariz (guru pattern): nah ini, pattern making (PM) kamu juga berantakan, kamu tau itu.

gw : iya..kalo PM saya dah pasrah..(tapi rasanya kok PM gw ga seancur itu sih)

mas fariz : nilainya juga ngepas..(tapi dia ga nyinggung absen krn ga GAK PERNAH absen PM) kamu juga failed PMnya. kamu dibilangin harus lebih teliti...

gw : ga bisa ngulang juga? (tetep)

guru2: ya gak ada kan perbaikan....

mas ari : kamu harus ngulang lagi, maaf ya saya ga bisa bantu banyak

mas fariz : iya, kamu ngulang dua2nya. lebih teliti ya lain kali (sambil nyerahin kertas reportnya itu)

gw : hah....(ngambil kertas..kok nilainya 13????) loh saya fail tapi nilainya 13...

guru2 : (nyengir)

gw : mas..saya kok 13? saya naek dong? (baru merhatiin tulisan buat kedua subject : PASSED) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAS FARIZ MAAAAAAAAHHHHHH MAS ARI MAAAAAHHH JAHATTTTT NGIBULIIIIN SAYA KIRA BENERAN GA NAEEEEEEEEKKKKKK AAAHHHHHH GITUUUUUUUUUUU

dan tau gak gw nangis beneran di depan mereka. huhuhuhuh emang mereka demen bikin murid kesiksa batin....dan gw keluar kelas disampbut pertanyaan ma anak2 yg blom tau resultnya..yah kita pada saling nunggu..alhamdulillah semuanya naek kelas kecuali yogi doag ada probation di PM. uhuhuhuhuhuhuh

LIBURANNYA TENANG DEH.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

a confessions has made

humm gw abis menyatakan sesuatu yg berat buat seseorang..secara ga langsung mungkin adalah rejection..well in a good way yah..coz he's a good man..makanya gw berat bilangnya..dia itu baek banget..dan honestly i have a feeling for him n he knows it. well nanggung banget,yak..somehow gw lagi ga pengen punya co..maksud gw ga mo nanggung2 lah cuma krn gw demen trus hayo aja..apalagi dia baek bgt n that kind of serious person..i'm not the right one, then..kesian dia klo akhirnya toh gw nyakitin juga. spt dia blg juga jadi ngebohongin dia n gw sendiri..dia malah yg banyak ksi masukan buat gw. gw yg ga enak gitu la..dan pastinya gw blg ma dia klo gw ga mo keadaannya berubah n seriously afraid of losing him..for who he is..n hampir seharian ini gw barengan dia, maen di rumahnya..somehow (lagi) nyaman sekaliiii bersama dia (wah ga tau dianya, ya!)intinya gitu...gw sedih banget looohh huehuehuehueheu udah ah..dia aja kasi support gw masa gwnya lenjeh siiihh...ya gaakk..thx for everything Y, for who u r, n the way u treat me..like u said everything will flow n i said to u..who knows when we meet again..i'll fall for u all over again..hehe..we never know..good luck with ur everything n THANK U

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

LIBUR GILAAAAAAAAA

gile loh gw kelar juga ujiannya skrg libur 3 bulan *nangis terharu* masalahnya skrg gw ga punya duit banyak buat seneng2 jadiiiiiiiii nyari duuuiiittt deehh..kita coba yukk..gw kemaren2 dah jalan ma maul n donat ke ex..trus tadi pagi2 dah ke kantor esa FHM n jatinegara kantornya g-plus...lama juga kita interview ampe 3 jam neeekkkkkk kesian esa yg nyetir nyari jalan *dan gw tergeletak lemes ga tau diri* trus gw aga ngarep ama traxx nih ayo dong ayo ayo ayo semangat....

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

cry for good

gw bangun2 dah nangis aja..gw ga enak minta duit ama bokap *apalagi klo ga buat ujian laknat* n bokap ngajak becanda tp kok ya keterlaluan..n kepala gw bener2 penuhhhhh ama apa yg hrs gw lakuin hari ini...n gw kecapean lahir batin..no jokes r funny for me now, so..yeah i cry.... lepasin beban..pdhal ujian gw tinggal itungan hari..kok akhirnya gw nangis juga..ternyata mental gw cuma segini hehe..gpplah..that's life..malah aneh klo gw ga pernah kena beban..ya gak? btw i miss my friends damn much, but i got no money left anjritttttttt!!!!!!

yesterday there was a confessions made..hehehe..thank u, ofr having that feeling..make me feel better..even whan i think it's too soon..but you're a great bud..really..hopethis last long..

speaking bout that..dunno why..i don't feel lika i wanna have a boyf..pdhal biasanya pengen (apalagi punya gebetan hauhauhau)i really wanna kepp in touch with myself first..make myself busy..mudah2an gw jadi magang..n moga2 pikiran gw ga kmn2..oke..

Saturday, June 05, 2004

aduh pencerahan

tailor exam gw mencapai titik cerah masih ada yg blom seh yaitu pasang padding, sigaret, sambung kerah, belahan lengan, dan finishing bawah.
looooh banyak yaaaaa.tp at least kaen2 bangsat itu dah pada disambung..roknya lagi diobras..tinggal disom dikit..lalu kaos juga disom dikit..tambahin benang2 aksesori..aduh pooknya i see a brighter exam future hahahahaha

malah F gw yg rada keteteran huhuhu malazzz bangett aduh minggu terakhir neh 5 days menuju puncak deadline wismilak yah semuanya.

yah namanya tetep malem minggu jadi ga ya nonton troy ama esa???

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

welcome to the big 2 0

gw lupa ngeposting ttg ultah gw yak heheh nothing special kok really...glad i'm still here now..n still have lotz of frenz who calls at nite..sms..yeeppp seneng ya klo diselametin. emang ag ada berubahnya sih biar gw dah 20..org2 sebel knp gw ngeluhin umur 20..hehe well gw seneng bgt makan tart dr oom bob..enak bgt coklatnya buseetttt gw bagiin ke sana sini..yah gituh2 aja..btw 2 hari ini gw jalan mulu ama esa kangen juga ama die..n gw kangen thil n anggi. malem ini gw tadinya mo ktmu maul dkk tapi dah malem males lah besok libur ini ya udeee nyantai laaa pacaran ama exam aja deh ahhhh

o iya pelan2 hati gw dah tenang neh heheh emang masalah waktu n usaha aja ya yg gw perlukan....

Saturday, May 29, 2004

friday nite fever

ke citos 2 x duh males gak sih. pertama ketemu bokap, makan di mangput trus balik bareng...siap2 cuma setengah jam trus headin back to citos ageeennn ketemu si esa minta ditemenin nonton the day after tomorrow..dia ajak tmnnya juga si edith n bule entahlah siapa..ya ampun gw baru sadar gw ga taun nama tu bule haauahuauahua...btw tadi strange aja pas gw mo nonton ada yg nelp yah pokonya gw nahan diri ajalah..hehe..mungkin dia mo jaga tali pertemanan..gitulah..stay supportive..hehe..sigh..*miss u badly, baby* trus still there him yg selalu nanyain keberadaan gw n tell me to take care of myself..so nice of u..apa yah..gw ngerasa sangat better dari kemaren *masa2 lenjeh* tapi tetep ada ajah yg ga enak..ya udahlah..